Frustration.

4.15.
Emotionally, my attitude is poop, and it makes me mad. (Irony.)
I need to give myself a kick in the butt.

My legs, ankles and knees hurt 65% less, but I’m back to a brain-mashing headache, bladder spasms and ouchy arms and hands. Oh well. I was ready for a change.

But I haven’t done my devotions for a couple days. Plus, I haven’t journaled for a couple days either, which makes me overwrought, and I need to get some fun books (for when my eyes unblur enough to read) because that always affects my morale, too. And I despise being unorganized, so I need to make a master list of the things that are floating around in my head regarding the next three months. I better do something quick, because chocolate ice cream didn’t fix it, so it’s a toughie.

Once I deal with all that, I know I’ll feel better. Maybe good enough to vacuum my bedroom.

Apparently Gary’s doctor is also the doctor I just went to who wasn’t very helpful, so that avenue has been boarded up. I got a call from Auntie saying someone at a government office actually whispered a name of a doctor to her. We’ll explore that possibility. I got a couple recommendations of doctors in Wisconsin and Missouri.

It’s not hopeless, but it’s making me MAD that I can’t get any kind of documentation from a doctor to help me with school. They all acknowledge that I'm clearly sick and in agony, but since none of them are actively taking over my treatment, they keep passing me around and won't get involved. Argh!!!! I have no idea what to do.
Okay, I still can call my primary care physician and see if she'll help... otherwise, I'm totally at the end of my line.
I guess if that falls through, I have the phone number for a counseling hotline through St. John’s for SCI students. I can give them a call and see what they would suggest.

I found lymenet.org. Helpful place. They have a chatroom, too. That experience was both encouraging and depressing. The book I’m currently reading is so well-researched and deep that it’s also depressing.

God is good. He has perfect timing. He uses weak vessels. He is conforming us to His image. He works in mysterious ways. Financial or governmental issues are absolutely no hindrance to His plan. Patience, stupid sheepling.